September Re-cap

Readers who know me personally know that September was a month I never want to repeat. It was month filled with change--some positive, some not.

Backing up to mid-August, we celebrated that event every parent works toward for 18 years of sending a child to college. While our move-in experience was a bit different due to COVID-19, I must confess that I was not disappointed that I didn't have to personally lug items to a third floor room. We had planned toward what a life would look like as a family of three and had split school drop-off and pick-up duties between my husband and I. Things were going well.

Towards the end of August however, life took a bit of a turn on several fronts. My husband had hurt his back and went to the doctor to get it looked at. While at the doctor he mentioned he was experiencing pain in his left arm and jaw while taking our dogs for their evening walk. Our doctor was concerned as those can by symptoms of heart issues and scheduled him for an stress test and EGK the next week. During this same time frame, my son woke up with a sore throat on a Monday morning. Normally, this wouldn not be an issue, but COVID-19 regulations indicate that if you exhibit any COVID symptom you need to stay home from school. So, we called the doctor who ordered tests for another possibility. When that test came back negative, he had the dreaded COVID test done at our local hospital. Knowing that if our son had COVID, I most likely did too, I opted to quarantine that week until I could get a COVID test through our local health department. Fortunately, this test came back negative within 24 hours and I was able to go back to work on Thursday. My son's test also came back negative although not until Thursday. During this time frame, one of our beloved kitties passed away as well. She wasn't very old but hadn't been in good health for a while.

While my son and I were home quarantining which involved remote school and remote work, my husband had his stress test and EKG. They both looked pretty good but warranted following up with a cardiologist. So, several days later my husband had a cardiologist appointment. The cardiologist recommended following up with a heart cath. The cath was originally scheduled for the next Tuesday but due to a cancellation they moved it to the next morning which was Friday. So Thursday afternoon, I was frantically rescheduling classes and appointments as individuals who have a heart cath can't drive themselves home. Having gone through this procedure myself previously, my husband and I didn't think twice about it and figured he would be home Friday evening or at the worst have a stent put in and be home the next day.

Friday morning of Labor Day weekend, we dropped my son off at school and drove to the hospital. I faithfully brought my work laptop and worked on several projects while in the waiting room. While in the waiting room I discovered that one of my other individuals there had connections with my place of employment and we had a nice visit. As mid-afternoon arrived, I received the call that the procedure was done and the doctor would be out to give his report. When the doctor came out, it was definitely not the report we anticipated as I was informed my husband needed to have open heart surgery as soon as it could be scheduled and would not be leaving the hospital until it was done! Definitely not the news we were expecting!

So, hearing this unexpected news threw me into high gear as I thought of all the people we needed to inform and things that needed to be addressed if my husband was going to have surgery and I was going to need to be at the hospital most of the time. As we had anticipated that he would be home quickly, we had not told our children about what was going on as we particularly didn't want our daughter to worry while at college. So a fury of phone calls to work places, family, and neighbors began. In a time of need such as this, you quickly know who your support system is as a neighbor helped to take our dogs to a kennel and brought my son to the hospital so that he could go to my parents' house for the weekend. While making these calls, I was very aware that the calls I was making could have been very different.

The hardest part was calling our daughter at college. Her college, as are most, was discouraging students from leaving campus and indicated that if you left to attend family gatherings or events, you needed to quarantine for two weeks up on return. While she wanted to come home, we didn't want her to have to quarantine, yet this was a major emergency and having an extra set of hands and an extra driver would be most useful. Unfortunately, being a holiday weekend and a Friday night locating campus officials who could provide guidance on proper protocol was difficult. Finally, she was able to locate a person of sufficient authority to whom she explained the situation, indicating that my son and I had just had negative COVID-19 tests, and that she would only be around family members. This person gave her permission to come home and she made the arrangements to take the train home the next day.

The next 48 hours were a whirlwind mix of hurry up and wait as we interacted with doctors and medical personnel, learned more about what was going to happen, and waited for the surgery to take place. Given the holiday weekend, there was one heart surgeon available between two hospitals, but we were repeatedly told this surgeon was the best. As there were already other surgeries scheduled for Saturday, my husband was scheduled for the first surgery on Sunday morning. Given the early time of the surgery, I was given special permission to spend the night even though the hospital had very strict visiting rules due to COVID. I consistently found that having had a recent negative test provided easy access. Throughout this time prayer was an absolute lifeline. As Sunday morning arrived, they prepped him for surgery. The surgeon expected it was going to be a triple bypass and to be done by 10:30. As they wheeled him away, I was in a conflicted state knowing that he was going to have excellent care but that this was also major surgery!

Having surgery on a Sunday morning and in the middle of COVID ended up being a blessing for me as I was able to attend church online at two churches we frequent and take part in our Sunday School class. Being able to share with and be prayed for during this time was such a blessing! Being able to participate in worship kept me from watching the clock too much. At about the anticipated time, I received the call indicating that surgery was done and he was moved to recovery. The doctor came out and indicated my husband ending up having quadruple bypass. With this news, I began a flurry of texts and phone calls to all of the individuals who needed to know. Finally, at about 2:30 in the afternoon I was able to see him. While knowing that he would be out of it for a while, nothing prepares you to see a loved one drugged up, with lots of tubes and wires, and completely out of it!

The following day upon returning to the hospital, I was very excited to see my husband sitting up in a chair and for the nurses to report that they had already removed several of his major tubes. Within 24 hours of his surgery, his IV and all tubes were removed, he was eating solid food, and was moved from ICU to a regular room. The hospital staff quickly had him up walking and doing therapy. Through the next few days, we returned to hurry up and wait existence as we interacted with all of the doctors and nurses that came in and learned about what recovery would look like. During these long hours in the hospital, I was able to continue working remotely on a variety of items. I must admit that doing virtual reference via Google Hangouts, responding to phone calls, and participating in Zoom calls from the hospital was a bit odd but not too much different than working from my kitchen table during the spring closure. During this time, it was so helpful to have my daughter at home and not to worry about needing to get my son to and from school, meals, and other basic housekeeping issues as she was able to attend classes remotely. As the week went on, the doctors continued to be very pleased with my husband's progress and finally on Thursday sent him home.

As we transitioned home, we continued to find that our support system stepped up to help. For the next week, a steady train of meals arrived that provided not only for our physical nourisment but also encouraged us emotionally during this time. Several times, I tucked extra servings into the freezer to reappear later. My son stated that we were the "pampered family" and it was wonderful to have one less thing to worry about while figuring out new medications and routines. During the weeks that followed the individuals who have continued to check in on us and offer support in a variety of ways have been so appreciated. It has been a wonderful reminder that when you know a family or friend in need, how helpful it is to reach out and indicate "I'm bringing you supper this evening" or simply pick up the phone and offer an encouraging word.

As we celebrate being four weeks post-surgery, my husband has started his cardio rehab and has a flurry of doctor appointments over the next few weeks. He is making great strides toward a full-recovery although he is frequently reminded that recovery for a major surgery is a slow process. We are paying closer attention to our diet. One change is that I'm doing a better job of planning our menu not just for our evening meal but for breakfast and lunch as well. Given that he is also consider immunocompromised, we're also being extra careful about our interactions with others by avoiding crowds, wearing our masks, and washing our hands or using hand sanitizer. We are especially thankful that on-line church is still an option. We're hoping for a much quieter and uneventful October!