Saturday, February 13, 2016

The Heart of the Fight

Good relationships require good fights according to Judith Wright and Bob Wright in their book The Heart of the Fight. To many people fighting seems like it has no place in a happy, healthy marriage. However in this book, the author's emphasize that fighting, when done properly, can help couples get to know each other better and result in a stronger marriage relationship.

In The Heart of the Fight, Wright and Wright outline 15 different types of fights common in marriages. Rather than encouraging readers to find ways to not fight about these issues or persuading the wife to submit to her husband as the leader of the home,the authors encourage readers to look for the "why" behind the issues causing their disagreements in order to focus on making the relationship better. In doing so they encourage readers to develop "six skills for battling to bliss." These skills are then used to discover what you really "yearn" to have and how to "engage" in a fair and living fight. As licensed marriage and family therapists, the authors back up their ideas not only with leading research in the field but also provide real life examples from couples in their practice. This combination of research AND practical examples results in ideas that can actually be implemented.

The Heart of the Fight is highly recommended for numerous audiences. It is written directly to couples and will work best when a couple chooses to read the book together and utilize the suggested techniques. However, marriage and family therapists and other counselors will find this a useful resource for their own shelves as well to utilize with couples and to use as an idea source book. My one disappointment with the book was the seemingly gratuitous use of some foul language. This seemed to be included to illustrate "real life" examples between couples but seemed unnecessary in a professional book. Overlooking the poor choice of words, this book is an excellent choice to add to your bookshelf. For this title a printed copy is recommended as readers will find themselves wishing to flip back to an earlier page or to consult a list of questions or suggestions. The e-copy did not lend itself easily to that usage.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


David Wadsworth said...

Thank you for your reflections on the book. I think I will also check it out. I have already read the book by Gary Chapman "The 5 love Languages" and find it incredibly useful. Hopefully, 'The Heart of the Fight' will be not less useful for my personal development.
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LibrarianMom said...

I'm glad you found my review useful. I had an ebook copy and plan to purchase the paper copy so I can more easily share this book with my husband and flip back and forth to relevant sections.