Untangled: Reads Like a Chat with an Experienced Mom-Friend

The description of Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Dr. Lisa Damour caught my attention immediately since I do have a teenage daughter. I was not disappointed!

In Untangled, Dr. Damour emphasizes that separation is a normal and vital part of adolescent development and the road to adulthood. However, how parents choose to deal with these issues is important to long-term relational health. Dr. Damour outlines what parents can expect as their daughters transverse their journey in seven chapters, or transitions, entitled Parting with Childhood, Joining a New Tribe, Harnessing Emotions, Contending with Adult Authority, Planning for the Future, Entering the Romantic World, and Caring for Herself. The content of each chapter deals with topics that are pertinent to teens as they age with the later chapters dealing with weightier issues. Although not quite yet to some of the later chapters, I frequently found myself nodding in agreement concerning situations we've experienced or thinking that's why this or that happens.

While Dr. Damour is a highly qualified psychotherapist and brings with her research and insight from her practice at the Laurel School for Girls, reading Untangled feels like sitting down to talk with a good friend who journeyed farther down the path than you. As she is a parent herself as well as a practitioner, her writing and the ideas shared are intensely practical and have passed the "real life" test in addition to the ivory tower. I would caution that Untangled is from a secular viewpoint and thus shares about topics such as sex and substance abuse. I found Damour's approach fair and appropriate and found much that is applicable.

This book is highly recommended for parents of pre-teen or tween girls as well as teenagers. Reading the book when your daughter is 10 or 11 is ideal so that you are prepared when those first transitions begin. If your daughter is past those first transitions, you still need to read Untangled to help accompany you along the remainder of your journey.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Heart of the Fight

Good relationships require good fights according to Judith Wright and Bob Wright in their book The Heart of the Fight. To many people fighting seems like it has no place in a happy, healthy marriage. However in this book, the author's emphasize that fighting, when done properly, can help couples get to know each other better and result in a stronger marriage relationship.

In The Heart of the Fight, Wright and Wright outline 15 different types of fights common in marriages. Rather than encouraging readers to find ways to not fight about these issues or persuading the wife to submit to her husband as the leader of the home,the authors encourage readers to look for the "why" behind the issues causing their disagreements in order to focus on making the relationship better. In doing so they encourage readers to develop "six skills for battling to bliss." These skills are then used to discover what you really "yearn" to have and how to "engage" in a fair and living fight. As licensed marriage and family therapists, the authors back up their ideas not only with leading research in the field but also provide real life examples from couples in their practice. This combination of research AND practical examples results in ideas that can actually be implemented.

The Heart of the Fight is highly recommended for numerous audiences. It is written directly to couples and will work best when a couple chooses to read the book together and utilize the suggested techniques. However, marriage and family therapists and other counselors will find this a useful resource for their own shelves as well to utilize with couples and to use as an idea source book. My one disappointment with the book was the seemingly gratuitous use of some foul language. This seemed to be included to illustrate "real life" examples between couples but seemed unnecessary in a professional book. Overlooking the poor choice of words, this book is an excellent choice to add to your bookshelf. For this title a printed copy is recommended as readers will find themselves wishing to flip back to an earlier page or to consult a list of questions or suggestions. The e-copy did not lend itself easily to that usage.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

A Refuge at Highland Hall

After reading and reviewing The Governess and The Daughter of Highland Hall, I was very excited to have the opportunity to read A Refuge at Highland Hall. You will notice there is a slight change to the title of this third book. The titles of the first two books focus on a person or main character where the title of this book places the emphasis on Highland Hall as a place.

For those who have read the previous titles, A Refuge at Highland Hall picks up with the younger daughter, Penny. While definitely desirous of a proper society husband, Penny's outlook on life differs from her older sister primarily due to her older sister's marriage and subsequent choices. Another important change is that England and London are in the midst of World War I. This important factor causes the entire London household which now includes numerous orphans to pack up to find A Refuge at Highland Hall. As the story unfolds, the family and the orphans are not the only ones who find a refuge at their home. Love, forgiveness, and personal growth all occur in this place.

While the story mostly revolves around Penny, there are several sub-plots that emerge as well. The distinction between the upper-class and the serving class begins to diminish in many ways, but the stark contrast and disdain the two classes have for each other is also portrayed. Germans who were living in England at the time and are now at a prison camp and the feelings toward Germans and Germany at the time are also highlighted. These sub-plots add to the excitement and drama of the story but also make it even more important that readers be familiar with the previous volumes in this series although Turansky continues to provide enough backstory to inform the reader.

At the end of A Refuge at Highland Hall, most of story is tied up in a bow as one would expect. However, there are just enough loose ends and maturing characters to make the reader hope that there will be more adventures at Highland Hall.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley and Blogging for Books. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

January Goals Re-Cap

This year rather than making huge goals for the entire year, I have decided to make smaller goals for each month. January flew by very quickly, and now we are already to February! Looking back on my January goals I did not meet each goal, yet I did make progress in each area. As the FlyLady reminds us, "Progress not perfection!"

Our church is doing a read through the New Testament plan which is one chapter per day Monday through Friday. January's reading were the book of Mark and the first 5 chapters of Acts which I finished. As a family we also listened to Mark on CD and will be beginning Acts soon. I found an Old Testament reading plan with is 3 chapters per day Monday through Friday as well. I'm behind in this reading but anticipate catching up through a combination of reading and listening.

Reading is my escape and the one thing I will make time for in my day no matter what else is happening. My favorite thing to do is to curl up with a book and something yummy to drink. I enjoy writing book reviews for several publication as well as my own blog. I had not been faithful in writing reviews over the past year and desired to step up in my reviewing for this year. I was pleased in January to submit a review for The Christian Librarian,a professional publication, as well as post two reviews on my blog. I'm also quite excited to have received two books that I'm reviewing for The Englewood Review of Books as well as having two more books on the way for The Christian Librarian. Stay tuned for several reviews to appear here as well thanks to NetGalley and other fun things I find to read.

Exercise seems to me at the top of most everyone's goal list and mine included. My goal for January was a modest 150 minutes of cardio exercise per week. While I started out well in early January, I promptly fell off the bandwagon. So for February, I'm planning for 150 minutes a week again. I like having a minute goal versus a daily goal. This goal allows the option of spending a longer amount of exercise on one day in case you miss a day although I aim for the recommended 30 minutes per day.

I had hoped to have a one-on-one date with each family member during January. While this didn't happen, we had multiple enjoyable outings and activities with the entire family. Hopefully, the individual outings will occur this month.

Another of my goals was to complete the Babysteps as outlined by FlyLady. I didn't make it through all 31 steps but am farther along than previously. I can report that I now have a shiny sink. I'm working on training my family not to put dirty dishes in the sink but to immediately put items in the dishwasher.

This is only a peek at a portion of our January activities. While I didn't cross off all my goals, I took steps in the right direction and will hopefully continue to do so in February.

Make Room for Lent

Growing up I was unfamiliar with Lent as our church did not observe the church year. When I did hear individuals speak of Lent much later as a college student, the context was typically the question "What are you giving up for Lent?" As an adult, I learned more about the church year and try to observe it personally and with my family. However, the sticking point has always been how to explain Lent to my children and observe it in a meaningful way in a congregation which doesn't practice Lent. Seeking out books about Lent was difficult as many required explanations of unfamiliar practices or terminology. Enter Laura Alary's new book Make Room: A Child's Guide to Lent.

Make Room is a picture book for children. Right away several things caught my attention. To begin, Alary arranges her book around the themes of Make Time, Make Space, and Make Room as ways to get ready while waiting for Easter and leading up to Holy Week. Each section begins with a text, anchored in an example from Christ's life or teaching, followed by practical examples presented in an engaging and winsome manner which children and families can accomplish. This emphasis on making Jesus a priority, rather than giving up something, is refreshing. The text does include examples of turning off the TV and giving away items you no longer need, but the emphasis is always on doing so in order to make room in your life and heart for Christ and becoming more Christ-like in the process.

In a picture book, the text and pictures are equally important. The pictures by illustrator Ann Boyajian are beautiful water color illustrations which complement each section. The illustrations depict children actively engaged in the activities mentioned in the text. Diverse children are shown increasing the appeal to a wide audience.

While this book contains some references which may be confusing to a child, such as a Maundy Thursday service or going to the lake on Easter morning--particularly if not practice by your local congregation, they are easily explained. While geared toward early elementary aged children, older children may benefit from this book as well. The sections are ideal to read and discuss one at a time for family devotions followed by carrying out the examples given. All in all, Alary's Make Room: A Child's Guide to Lent makes the practice of Lent understandable, meaningful, and doable for children and families from a variety of Christian traditions. I look forward to sharing this book with my family and encourage you to do the same.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Paraclete Press. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Daughter of Highland Hall

Two years ago I reviewed The Governess of Highland Hall by Carrie Turansky. I greatly enjoyed this book so when I saw volume 2 of the Edwardian Brides series, The Daughter of Highland Hall, available via NetGalley I simply had to request it. I was pleasantly surprised to find upon downloading the book that I had already read it via our local library. Fortunately, this title is quite enjoyable and worth reading again.

Readers of the original book in this series will already be acquainted with the main character Katherine Ramsey. The previous exposure to this character indicated she was a spoiled brat which had not changed at the opening of the sequel. Katherine is preparing for her debut which is overseen by her aunt and has finding a suitably wealthy young man to wed as her only goal. Her first introduction to society is marred by several less than ideal circumstances. Unfortunately, several other less than ideal situations pop up which make Katherine's debut into society difficult. However, through these situations Katherine finds that there are many things in life much more important than society parties, dresses, and eligible young bachelors.

Throughout the story, several characters from the original book continue to play a significant role in the story's development--namely her governess Julia Foster and her uncle William. While not having the starring roles, they play an active part in guiding Katherine through the situations she faces as well as other characters in the book. As the story unfolds, Katherine's eyes are opened to societal injustices of her day and to spiritual matters. She changes from a spoiled young lady to one who takes an active role in serving others. Through losing her society status, Katherine ends up finding herself and true love.

Readers who enjoyed the first book in this series will definitely wish to read The Daughter of Highland Hall. The book also will be enjoyed by individuals who have not read the first. Turansky does an excellent job of providing enough of the backstory so that readers who are unfamiliar with the original story, or have forgotten details, can keep up. The story is a gentle romance but provides enough intrigue to be interesting. I look forward to reading volume three of this series A Refuge at Highland Hall.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NetGalley and Blogging for Books. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Random thoughts about educational textbook publishers

I'm feeling a bit hot under the collar this morning and the following blog post which is a far departure from my usual book reviews is the result.

Educational textbooks have always been adapted to adhere to whatever latest and greatest educational standards are being touted. At times, educational publishers have created specific editions of certain books to address individual state standards. For example, our library collection contains Indiana specific editions of numerous K-12 textbooks particularly in the field of social studies. At other times, most textbooks adhered to the educational standards of Texas and California as they are the largest states and where publishers knew they could make the most money. The New York Review of Books states, “As a market, the state (Texas) was so big and influential that national publishers tended to gear their books toward whatever it wanted.” If anyone has ever thought that educational textbook publishers have been about anything beyond making money, they are sadly mistaken. The textbook publishers did not create the standards, but yes they publish books that adhere to the standards. Individual districts then can choose whether or not to purchase those items.

I find it incredibly sad that an individual who was employed as a regional sales manager for a large textbook company and whose job in that company was to sell books—not write books or edit books or teach using the books-has been fired for stating her focus is to sell books. Yes, she made some other inappropriate comments, but she spoke truthfully in that her main emphasis is to sell books. She uses the script provided by her company to go into schools and tout how the textbooks align to the current educational standards. Then districts can choose whether to use those textbooks or any of the others currently on the market. People are upset that she indicates “I hate kids,” yet her job doesn’t involve working directly with kids at all. If she liked kids she would be employed as a teacher, but instead her background is in business and sales where she didn’t work with kids. Job descriptions for account manager and strategic account manager positions with her company call for a B.A. or B.S. with 3 years of k-12 or corporate training experience. It’s about sales not education!

In my employment, I frequently receive sales calls. I defer them to my director or at times I tell the person, “sorry, your product does not fit our collection.” Some sales people have been very persistent. However, they are simply doing their job. They are not educators or librarians. They are simply sales people who are doing their job and trying to make an honest living. Common Core decrier Truth in American Education writes the following in regard to this specific incident:

It is highly unlikely that she had any insider knowledge of the company and there isn’t evidence that this is a belief that is held company-wide. Barrow also had nothing to do with the creation, adoption and implementation of the standards. What was revealed is that textbook publishers, in particular account managers, do what they do for money. Does this really surprise anyone? It shouldn’t they are, after all, a for-profit business. Will this knowledge advance our cause? Not really. It sounds bad (because it is bad), but regardless of what the standards are textbook and curriculum publishers are in the business of making money.”